these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
