Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
