Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
