Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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