May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
be right there i have to get my cape
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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