what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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