One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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