I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
