My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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