Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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