the condom got lost in my hair
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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