would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize