yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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