White coat. Heels.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
His nipple licking is glorious
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