Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's