Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Plan B is the new Plan A

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  (973): Plan B is the new Plan A http://tfl.nu/yxtj
  Replies (8) Good night (1227) Bad night (1131)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'

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  (917): apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money' http://tfl.nu/vf8t
  Replies (4) Good night (2225) Bad night (970)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.

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  (816): Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry. http://tfl.nu/0tqt
  Replies (11) Good night (747) Bad night (3116)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.

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  (859): you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it. http://tfl.nu/q4is
  Replies (33) Good night (9623) Bad night (1503)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.

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  (404): he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip. http://tfl.nu/ir9l
  Replies (9) Good night (1054) Bad night (4027)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?

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  (817): I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding? http://tfl.nu/zuv6
  Replies (29) Good night (4887) Bad night (2383)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?

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  (817): would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping? http://tfl.nu/hbh2
  Replies (5) Good night (3952) Bad night (999)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.

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  (832): He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point. http://tfl.nu/zypj
  Replies (21) Good night (8602) Bad night (1211)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?

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  (609): we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding? http://tfl.nu/9jac
  Replies (11) Good night (4864) Bad night (1033)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!

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  (281): WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?! http://tfl.nu/4ghk
  Replies (20) Good night (3114) Bad night (4945)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.

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  (215): tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts. http://tfl.nu/39iy
  Replies (5) Good night (1344) Bad night (465)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.

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  (775): Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat. http://tfl.nu/8a5u
  Replies (4) Good night (859) Bad night (341)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?

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  (519): Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot? http://tfl.nu/ltik
  Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (407)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.

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  (406): I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler. http://tfl.nu/7ln7
  Replies (4) Good night (848) Bad night (412)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.

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  (231): He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win. http://tfl.nu/5uj6
  Replies (0) Good night (322) Bad night (128)

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