Texts From Last Night

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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church

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  (501): if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church http://tfl.nu/2izr
  Replies (15) Good night (1674) Bad night (2239) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...

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  (828): finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night... http://tfl.nu/doej
  Replies (12) Good night (535) Bad night (4505) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her

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  (206): You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her http://tfl.nu/auxf
  Replies (6) Good night (3415) Bad night (1563) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication

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  (415): the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication http://tfl.nu/40rd
  Replies (16) Good night (8969) Bad night (962) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it

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  (408): Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it http://tfl.nu/ddbo
  Replies (13) Good night (1459) Bad night (4649) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So many bounce houses so little time

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  (860): So many bounce houses so little time http://tfl.nu/tcx2
  Replies (6) Good night (3447) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you

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  (215): i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you http://tfl.nu/4yxe
  Replies (35) Good night (9109) Bad night (1635) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend

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  (608): Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend http://tfl.nu/d6xp
  Replies (5) Good night (4257) Bad night (908)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.

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  (631): I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend. http://tfl.nu/oodk
  Replies (3) Good night (470) Bad night (2242) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong

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  (704): we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong http://tfl.nu/wuam
  Replies (3) Good night (2301) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.

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  (563): Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience. http://tfl.nu/j0u8
  Replies (6) Good night (3246) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?

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  (781): What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body? http://tfl.nu/d4hy
  Replies (11) Good night (1491) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.

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  (513): you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore. http://tfl.nu/8tgi
  Replies (8) Good night (2540) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.

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  (419): I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation. http://tfl.nu/t73g
  Replies (2) Good night (849) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...

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  (305): You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol... http://tfl.nu/hrys
  Replies (7) Good night (427) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt

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