If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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