How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize