So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
