She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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