U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize