when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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