I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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