Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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