My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
