you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
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