would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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