Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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