i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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