i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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