yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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