i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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