You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
