last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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