I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
