I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
