I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
