In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
