i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
