I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
