I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
