She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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