I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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