I puked a lego.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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