Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I will be naked everywhere
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
