That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
