I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
