every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
