Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
