Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
