Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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