fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
