sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
