I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize