He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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