Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
