yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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