Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
