just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
