HIV tests are more positive than that guy
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
